What have I learned about sub'n for 2nd graders?

Every day I sub I try to at least write down a few musings regarding my experiences in the classroom. As a 'temp,' you really get the opportunity to experience student life from a number of different standpoints: some classes treat you like a superior, while other classes might treat you as a peer. Some classes might treat you like a play buddy, while others might look at you as an enemy from the first moment they see you. Here are some of my remarks, usually written on post-it notes, about sitting in on 2nd, 6th, 7th, 8th and 12th grade classrooms.

1.) Second graders. They're so damn cute. Seriously. Giving these kids a high five for completing a worksheet might as well be giving them $1 million dollars. I feel like I want to hold them up to the world, like Simba, and scream, "Nobody ever hurt this child! Be pure my little one!" But then, somehow, they manage to fill you in on the latest MTV reality show. Sigh.

2.) For some reason, giving elementary students permission to use markers is like giving a science geek permission to enter Area 51. It's just too cool.

- Kid: "Can we use markers???!!!"

- Me: "uhh....yea, sure. Why not?"

- Class "(mixed reactions of gasping, shock, awe, etc.) We can use markers!!!"

3.) Clorox wipes are the key to cleanliness. To middle and elementary school students, Clorox wipes are akin to Catnip. Distribute with caution.

4.) To 2nd graders, that pull-down map that rolls in and out of itself over the chalkboard is the most amazing magic trick....ever.

5.) Most female high school students are ready to get into some kind of altercation with the sub. I'm still not sure why, but it seems like every class I go into I'm met with some kind of hostility right after the bell.

-Me: "Happy Tuesday everyone, let's go ahead and find our seats."

-Angry high school girl: "Uhhhhh. (eyes roll as she whipser to her friend) Is this guy serious?"

6.) Most students have absolutely no sense of age. 24 years old is ancient. As for their real teachers? Well, to most of these kids, they seem to be under the impression that their teachers will be passing away at the old age of 35-55 at any moment.

Mr. Substitute.

Teach for America didn't fly.

And here's the worst part: They give no reasons to any of the applicants as to 'why?' Though it's true that, as time passed after the interview, I contemplated pulling my application so that I could re-enter the university system, I still hate not being picked for things. This was a frustrating time.

What can I assume about my interview? I created a laundry list of reasons for why I might not have been picked....

1) I said I could quit.

Well, not exactly like that. In my one-on-one interview, I was asked if there would be any reasons for quitting the job. I said that, of course there would be numerous reasons, both foreseeable and unforeseeable, that would cause any human being to quit a low paying teaching job. I sighted physical violence and weapon use and/or intimidation as a perfect example: why would a teacher go to work in fear of her or his life?

2) Social Studies was not needed in this most recent rotation of job hiring.

Sad but true. As much as we live in an educational contradiction, both in this state and country, we live in a contradiction with the Social Sciences, or History. Americans want their schools and students to be the best, but we don't want to pay for it (that's why education is ALWAYS the first to be cut in budgets). As much as we want students to know US History, we don't want students to know everything. Just look at the numerous flaws, oversights and omissions that can be found, or not found in American textbooks (All men were created equal, right?).

The good ol USA doesn't compete with other countries in the category of US History knowledge. The same fact applies for Geography and other Social Studies subjects. We do, however, compete with countries all over the world in math and science. Math and Science are the two most easily relatable subjects worldwide, as, for the most part, the same rules apply. 2 + 2 = 4 in any language. Similarly, the composition of DNA is mostly agreed upon world wide by scientists from most all nations.

The history of say, the formation and expansion of the United States, is most definitely NOT agreed upon in any one country. Go ahead and ask around, I think there's some type of war going on or something.

3) I was over-qualified.

I know that's a huge boost to my ego, but let's face it, I was. I interviewed against zero candidates with any teaching experience whatsoever. As far as pay scale goes, most of the poor schools that teachers are sent to in TFA accept TFA Corp Members because they are, for lack of a better term, cheap labor. No teaching credential = a working contract that can be negotiated to lower wages for the teacher. Furthermore, TFA Corp Member teachers cannot join unions, which means that an uncredentialed teacher lacking union membership demands a very, very low salary which is coincidentally perfect for an inner city school in need of teachers.

Oh well. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. And yes, my laundry list is usually only three deep.

For the past few months I have been substituting at my old stomping grounds, Joan MacQueen Middle School in Alpine, California. It has been a blast working with young 12, 13 and 14 year old students, and even more so when you include the fact that I have been substituting for many of my old teachers. The cherry on top is that they are very excited to see a former student return as a teacher. Now if I could only talk some of them into retiring...

Aaaaand at some point I finished 4th in a bike race. A road race, that is. 58 miles worth of road racing. With over 4,000 feet of climbing. Wait, what?

This fool won...then crashed himself out. You can see him saying, "oh s#%*!!!"

He was DQ'd and bumped me from 5th to 4th.

How a server views the holiday season

Whether or not someone enjoys the holiday season really boils down to a simple matter of perspective. I can't imagine turkeys and pigs enjoy this time of year, but I'm sure that slaughter houses across the nation are making profits. Some families are enjoying the few moments away from work and school to spend quality time together, while others spend every minute loathing the sight of their in-laws. While you might go out for a holiday meal, it's quite possible that your server, cook, bartender or busser, might be seriously dreading that same experience.

I've been in the restaurant industry for nearly four years now, and each year I get to see the droves of large family units seemingly herding themselves in and out of the restaurant on any given Thanksgiving or Christmas. You can always tell the truly 'elated' bunches: Mom's side of the family on one side, Dad's side on the other, neither too happy to be in the same presence for a meal. It's near miraculous when a family of 12 can complete an entire meal short of 60 minutes.

There is, of course, the obligatory 'fight over the bill' between in-laws which can very easily lead to troubling moments for your humble narrator and server. For the sake of servers everywhere, I've decided to leave you with a few tips to keep in mind when dining out this holiday season.

1. Please do not, under any circumstances, ever refer to your server as 'waiter' 'waitress' 'buddy' 'pal' or (my favorite of all time) 'server dude.' This will be met with hostility, or as is my personality, a relentless assault of backhanded compliments whenever I'm requested. I tell you my name at the beginning of the meal. Remember it, or offer up a polite 'sir' or 'miss/ma'am.' If we've been polite to you, then we've earned at least that much.

2. Keep in mind the amount of times you ask for things separately. My job is to serve you as efficiently as possible, and I'm pretty good at it. Do you need horseradish? You damn right I can get that for you. But alas, upon returning, someon asks for mustard. Well that's no problem at all. I'll be right back! And when I get back, well it looks like someone wants more napkins. Plain and simple: while we're here to help you, keep in mind we're helping at least 5 other parties at a time, and many times 7 or 8 groups. In the spirit of these holidays, please try to consolidate your requests. If you don't, I'm going to ask you if "there is anything else I can get for annnyyyyyooonnne while I'm here" in my best adult-to-two-year-old impression. And I'm real good at that.

3. Don't gourge yourself on complimentary bread and butter. It's bad form. It's also a health risk, and for the most part, I care about you.

4. Please DO NOT get into arguments with your significant other at the table...in front of me. It is uncomfortable at best, and at worse, I'm probably going to repeat the confrontation to all of my coworkers so we can laugh about what happend the last time you ordered that second cocktail, or how gassy you get after eating the cheese cake. If you've ever argued in a restaurant, do yourself a favor and look around. If you see staff members poking their heads out around corners, staring at you and talking to eachother, it's a good chance that you'll be the subject of conversation for many nights to come.

5. In the state of California there is, for many restaurants, legal tip sharing. On any given restaurant shift, a server could be giving away 10 - 38% of their gratuities to bussers, expoditers kitchen staff, hostesses, and bartenders. This leaves, many times, only about 60% of the original gratuities for the server. While I'm fortunate enough to be in a situation where my livelihood is not dependant on tip money, most servers are paid minimum wage and need that money for rent and insurance. If the service was good, go with the giving spirit, and give what you can. If the steak was undercooked, let your server know BEFORE you polish that bad-boy off so that I can fix it, and so that you won't feel inclined to hold it against me.

part II in a few days...maybe.

It doesn't count if nothing happens

Negotiating one of the many technical corners at the Turkey Trot CX

That's what I've been telling myself, repeatedly, after finishing up the interview process with Teach for America. I know that I was told to keep all my interviewing experiences confidential, but, as the title says, it doesn't count if nothing happens (grammar?), and seeing as how I have to wait 1 month until I hear my fate, I suppose I can write on the process lightly.

The day started very quickly at 9 a.m. sharp. We met in a small conference room, very similar to an upper-division seminar room, in one of the many incredibly posh buildings on the campus of USD. When people say USD is a campus for rich people, they are not lying. USD is a campus among Gods, food prepared by chefs, students playing piano in the lobby to serenade guests; it was all a complete shock. SDSU has absolutely nothing on this school, except for the beat downs we dish out in basketball.

There were 11 total candidates in the room with 2 interviewers. Right off the bat I noticed that the candidates were nervous about the upcoming teaching lessons. An early attempt to break the ice was met with cold stares, as I suppose many of these kids were extremely nervous and under the impression that we were all competing against each other.

The 5 minute teaching lessons were next, it was easy to see those who had no idea what teaching is about. Most of the lessons were fine, and mine was going quite well but, as is the case with most of my teaching in general, I talk to much. 10 more seconds and I would've been fine.

The rest of the morning sessions involved group work, in which all of the candidates in my group were trying to recite as many of the 'catch phrases' from the Teach for America website as possible: "I think that the educational gap is the biggest problem in this country" "We need to focus on how we can get our students to be more successful" blah blah blah. Uninspired nonsense like this was really beginning to turn me off because it lacked a soul, it lacked passion, and it lacked the long-term commitment: many of these students would be leaving after two years. The whole interview day is quite easy, and after a long lunch break, my 1 on 1 interview took place, with the interviewer taking notes on the computer most of the time, not really responding to my comments.

Again, the interview for TFA is not challenging, and what's more disconcerting, is that this interview process does not truly identify teachers. I'm not quite sure how you can test a teacher on basic quantitative data analysis and conclude that 'hey, this person reads charts quite well, we should hire him/her.' It just doesn't work like that.

What was most troubling for me was finding out about my interviewers, who were in fact former TFA members. After two years of teaching, they left the classroom for recruitment jobs at TFA. If I had one question for TFA, it would be : How can you expect to make great changes in education by allowing teachers to leave the classroom after two years? While I appreciate these teachers' experiences in the classroom, it's quite laughable to hear about how easily they were able to leave the classroom, especially when considering the fact that the first 5 years of teaching is considered to be one big learning curve.

I guess what stands out as the biggest difference between myself and the rest of the recruits and members of TFA, is that I really want to be in the classroom for many years. All I want to do is teach, and when I say teach, I mean fully invest myself in the school and community for the long-haul.

teacher tries to go fast

chillin with Mr. Chris Horner at Storm the Beach CX

As I watch the San Diego State Aztecs lay the hammer down on Utah, I'm reminded of how much fun college was and how much I really enjoyed school.

As far as school goes, I have made it now to the final step of the Teach for America process. And what a process it has been. Each stage of the selection has had its weird moments. The winner for most awkward moment: having a phone interview with a sick and sniffling former teacher. I couldn't understand a word she said. With each sentence more confusing and congested than the last, I was forced to ask to have this lady repeat the questions multiple times. I was sure I failed, but then again, maybe apprehension is a good thing, because I was soon passed on to the final round of interviewing. A face to face and group interview is next. How they decide who will be a good teacher through group interviewing is beyond me. The only true test is through teaching lessons in front of students, staff and administrators (I have at least 30 peers that can attest to this).

Cyclocross is winding down. Sad, sad days. Upgrading to category 3 has been a painful endeavor. Racing with the PROs (and by racing, I mean the first 4 minutes of the first lap) is no joke. It's nice to keep riders like Sid Taberlay, Brian Lopes and even Mr. Chris Horner in eyesight for a few corners, but when the legs and lungs begin to suffer, the aspiring teacher must be wise and back it down a notch. It's one thing to push the limits for a few minutes, but it's an entirely different test when asked to push the red for 60 minutes.

An hour of cross racing is no joke.

I'm back

So it's been awhile. Even though there are no readers here, I'm okay with that. I'm assuming maybe, juuuuust maybe, someone out there might have done a double take. "Hey, what the hell happened? My prime time, top quality reading material has not been updated in some time now. What gives?"

Right.

After finishing the credential program, I took a few months off from anything productive or important. I went to a wedding, did a ton of wine tasting, rode my bike, and worked a lot at the Boathouse. It's been a blur of good times, but the good times must end eventually. And so here I am again.

As your humble narrator, I should tell you that finding a job as a male history teacher in the state of California is not as easy as I thought it would be. So, my new direction is to find a more sure form of employment, yet still to be involved in education.

Enter: Teach for America.

And so, the entire story comes full circle. I've been online, typing up applications, letters of intent and resumes, and BOOM. Somehow I remembered that I still have this little journal of life and bike racing. Whatever it is, however productive or unproductive it is, I figured that at the very least, if I were to pass on in an unfortunate accident or something, there would at least be these words to remind you of my clever, witty comebacks. My inspiring dialogue and my everlasting ability to make you say, 'glad I'm not that guy.' You're welcome.

So if this teach for America thing works out, as I so very hope it does, I will be moving to the fine city of Los Angeles. I love sitting in traffic, so it's a perfect fit.

Bike racing is back!! Specifically, cyclocross, and it's very exciting to be semi-unemployed and have the weeks free to train and the weekends free to race. Good stuff. I'm now racing as a category 3 in cross, and I fully expect to be lapped by Sid Taberlay, Prenzlow, the Bailey Crew, and the rest of the way too fast elites.

And so there you have it. Bi-weekly posting will start....NOW!

Oh yea, totally won a 24 hour mountain bike race. 5 person coed team

(Logan had to leave early, hence only 4 of us)

Done!

The PACT was passed, no issues, no regrets. It's been awhile since I've had time to write, which is indicative of the immense focus needed to work that paper out. It felt great to finish the whole thing up without any issues.

I did it the right way: I did my own proofreading, I videotaped the way I felt was most successful, and I worked in the most efficient manner possible. Examples:

--It was suggested to film for 3-5 days, yet, only 2, 10 minute clips were to be turned in. Instead of Filming the whole time, I filmed for 85 minutes total. I made sure to focus on what needed to be shown on film, which allowed me to be really efficient. I literally created situations in the classroom that satisfied the rubric, executed them, and moved on.

--I did 75% of my writing in 48 hours. Ok, admittedly not the best course of action. However, I knew that I'm best when writing under pressure, and it ended up being a perfect strategy. True, I lumped 2 month's worth of stress into one weekend, but I was able to finish it quickly!

The teaching went a lot better. My students were absolutely top-notch, and they really made the whole experience smooth and easy.

The school year ends this Tuesday. Wow. What an experience. Teaching is both easier and harder than I thought it would be. I've learned the value of preparation and focus. I've also learned the importance of rules and limits. Now it's time to find a job. I have a feeling there is one out there for me; it's just a matter of time. I'll miss Mount Miguel, and hopefully one day I can return to that school as a full time teacher. I enjoyed everything about that school, and I feel extremely grateful to have met the students and staff that I did.

But what about my riding? That went straight to hell. It's a pretty sad statement when you're lungs explode on the regular saturday ride. It's been painful building up my fitness, and lately I've spent more time enjoying the bike rather than training.

OH YEA. I got to test ride some $9,000 bicycles. Here's one of 'em.

Pure speed, that's all that can be said. Cervelo S3, Sram Red, Zipp 404 in back, 303 in front. I'd go deeeeep into debt for one of these, but I don't have the guts.

Thank you to all of my students and friends. This semester has been amazing and tough. I've learned a lot about education, and even more about balancing life. It's been important for me to keep my balance and to keep things light. The darkest times in this program were the times when riding, friends, and family were put on the back-burner. A principal once told me that it's important to take care of yourself BEFORE taking care of your students. I'll have to keep these words in mind for the future.