music should challenge you, bike riding shouldn't hurt all the time, teachers should tackle pop culture

If any of these things confuse you or strike a chord then I'm sure, at the very least, I would be a great song title writer. Minus the Bear should hire me even though I can't grow a 'great northwest' beard to save my life. You know the beard, it's the one that looks like the only moisture it receives is a thoughtful combination of Portland rain and overpriced craft beer.

The whole bike racing thing bothers me every now and then because it seems to me that if the actual organized, official, licensed racing was taken out of the picture, most of these grown men wouldn't even ride. This isn't to say competition is a bad thing, but it shouldn't be the mess that it is. If I feel like training, I'll ride myself into the ground. If I feel like riding my bike to the Lyons Valley General store for a High Life, I'll do that too. As much as I enjoy competition and racing, any amateur glory that may or may not await me in my future is not nearly as tempting as a good meal and a few drinks with friends.

Over the past few weeks, I've spent some more time substituting in the classroom of Alpine, and I've noticed one interest that seemingly connects and levels the student population as a whole: Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Jersey Shore.

Here is where I need to be careful with what I say, because the aim here is not to offend musical or entertainment preferences. The aim is, however, to illustrate how entertainment and music without a point, or goal, is not only pointLESS to our society, but perhaps destructive and stifling.

These kids, specifically the girls, LOVE this stuff. They eat it up with an oversized spoon and come to school singing the lyrics and recapping the stories of the previous night's adventures on the town. They don't even know why. All they know is that the it's in their faces, and that if it is constantly in their faces, then there must be some sort of redeeming value to the content.

The problem with all of this is that there is no passion, no soul, no creativity, and certainly no inspiration behind any of this junk. Ask yourself: What is the point of jersey shore? What is the point of much of the mainstream pop music? Where is the love? Where is the passion? Katy Perry wrote a song about kissing girls. Fine, save for the fact that a song by the same name came out already in 1995. Forget about the fact that Katy's song has nothing to do with the liberation of gays whatsoever, and you have a song that was written by a team of suits, aimed at adolescents, with the sole purpose of making money through the sale of sex. There you have it, a somewhat bitter story of modern day pop culture. Most importantly, none of this music challenges young middle school students who are literally 4 years away from being fully active, voting citizens of this country.

And this relates directly to teaching because it is the role of the teacher, not to block our students from accessing these forms of social media, but to expose students to more things that they would have access to in their everyday lives. Teaching is tough, even as a sub, because a teacher is confronted with all of the modern day issues that young people face, and they are confronted with these problems 5 full school days a week. There is no other profession that is faced with these challenges, as it is the only profession where loving, and sometimes unloving, parents send their kids to be with other adults. Alone in a room. With the (usually) one door locked.

Teachers are alone in a room with students, and these students want, as do their parents and guardians, to be taught, nurtured, and developed into thoughtful citizens. As lofty a goal as any, but a good question to be asked here might be: How does modern middle school curriculum tackle the challenge of popular culture misleading our students?

Our students (some, most, you decide) look up to the cast of jersey shore. Shouldn't they be told that they, in fact, look down on them?

I don't know.

What have I learned about sub'n for 2nd graders?

Every day I sub I try to at least write down a few musings regarding my experiences in the classroom. As a 'temp,' you really get the opportunity to experience student life from a number of different standpoints: some classes treat you like a superior, while other classes might treat you as a peer. Some classes might treat you like a play buddy, while others might look at you as an enemy from the first moment they see you. Here are some of my remarks, usually written on post-it notes, about sitting in on 2nd, 6th, 7th, 8th and 12th grade classrooms.

1.) Second graders. They're so damn cute. Seriously. Giving these kids a high five for completing a worksheet might as well be giving them $1 million dollars. I feel like I want to hold them up to the world, like Simba, and scream, "Nobody ever hurt this child! Be pure my little one!" But then, somehow, they manage to fill you in on the latest MTV reality show. Sigh.

2.) For some reason, giving elementary students permission to use markers is like giving a science geek permission to enter Area 51. It's just too cool.

- Kid: "Can we use markers???!!!"

- Me: "uhh....yea, sure. Why not?"

- Class "(mixed reactions of gasping, shock, awe, etc.) We can use markers!!!"

3.) Clorox wipes are the key to cleanliness. To middle and elementary school students, Clorox wipes are akin to Catnip. Distribute with caution.

4.) To 2nd graders, that pull-down map that rolls in and out of itself over the chalkboard is the most amazing magic trick....ever.

5.) Most female high school students are ready to get into some kind of altercation with the sub. I'm still not sure why, but it seems like every class I go into I'm met with some kind of hostility right after the bell.

-Me: "Happy Tuesday everyone, let's go ahead and find our seats."

-Angry high school girl: "Uhhhhh. (eyes roll as she whipser to her friend) Is this guy serious?"

6.) Most students have absolutely no sense of age. 24 years old is ancient. As for their real teachers? Well, to most of these kids, they seem to be under the impression that their teachers will be passing away at the old age of 35-55 at any moment.

Mr. Substitute.

Teach for America didn't fly.

And here's the worst part: They give no reasons to any of the applicants as to 'why?' Though it's true that, as time passed after the interview, I contemplated pulling my application so that I could re-enter the university system, I still hate not being picked for things. This was a frustrating time.

What can I assume about my interview? I created a laundry list of reasons for why I might not have been picked....

1) I said I could quit.

Well, not exactly like that. In my one-on-one interview, I was asked if there would be any reasons for quitting the job. I said that, of course there would be numerous reasons, both foreseeable and unforeseeable, that would cause any human being to quit a low paying teaching job. I sighted physical violence and weapon use and/or intimidation as a perfect example: why would a teacher go to work in fear of her or his life?

2) Social Studies was not needed in this most recent rotation of job hiring.

Sad but true. As much as we live in an educational contradiction, both in this state and country, we live in a contradiction with the Social Sciences, or History. Americans want their schools and students to be the best, but we don't want to pay for it (that's why education is ALWAYS the first to be cut in budgets). As much as we want students to know US History, we don't want students to know everything. Just look at the numerous flaws, oversights and omissions that can be found, or not found in American textbooks (All men were created equal, right?).

The good ol USA doesn't compete with other countries in the category of US History knowledge. The same fact applies for Geography and other Social Studies subjects. We do, however, compete with countries all over the world in math and science. Math and Science are the two most easily relatable subjects worldwide, as, for the most part, the same rules apply. 2 + 2 = 4 in any language. Similarly, the composition of DNA is mostly agreed upon world wide by scientists from most all nations.

The history of say, the formation and expansion of the United States, is most definitely NOT agreed upon in any one country. Go ahead and ask around, I think there's some type of war going on or something.

3) I was over-qualified.

I know that's a huge boost to my ego, but let's face it, I was. I interviewed against zero candidates with any teaching experience whatsoever. As far as pay scale goes, most of the poor schools that teachers are sent to in TFA accept TFA Corp Members because they are, for lack of a better term, cheap labor. No teaching credential = a working contract that can be negotiated to lower wages for the teacher. Furthermore, TFA Corp Member teachers cannot join unions, which means that an uncredentialed teacher lacking union membership demands a very, very low salary which is coincidentally perfect for an inner city school in need of teachers.

Oh well. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. And yes, my laundry list is usually only three deep.

For the past few months I have been substituting at my old stomping grounds, Joan MacQueen Middle School in Alpine, California. It has been a blast working with young 12, 13 and 14 year old students, and even more so when you include the fact that I have been substituting for many of my old teachers. The cherry on top is that they are very excited to see a former student return as a teacher. Now if I could only talk some of them into retiring...

Aaaaand at some point I finished 4th in a bike race. A road race, that is. 58 miles worth of road racing. With over 4,000 feet of climbing. Wait, what?

This fool won...then crashed himself out. You can see him saying, "oh s#%*!!!"

He was DQ'd and bumped me from 5th to 4th.