How a server views the holiday season

Whether or not someone enjoys the holiday season really boils down to a simple matter of perspective. I can't imagine turkeys and pigs enjoy this time of year, but I'm sure that slaughter houses across the nation are making profits. Some families are enjoying the few moments away from work and school to spend quality time together, while others spend every minute loathing the sight of their in-laws. While you might go out for a holiday meal, it's quite possible that your server, cook, bartender or busser, might be seriously dreading that same experience.

I've been in the restaurant industry for nearly four years now, and each year I get to see the droves of large family units seemingly herding themselves in and out of the restaurant on any given Thanksgiving or Christmas. You can always tell the truly 'elated' bunches: Mom's side of the family on one side, Dad's side on the other, neither too happy to be in the same presence for a meal. It's near miraculous when a family of 12 can complete an entire meal short of 60 minutes.

There is, of course, the obligatory 'fight over the bill' between in-laws which can very easily lead to troubling moments for your humble narrator and server. For the sake of servers everywhere, I've decided to leave you with a few tips to keep in mind when dining out this holiday season.

1. Please do not, under any circumstances, ever refer to your server as 'waiter' 'waitress' 'buddy' 'pal' or (my favorite of all time) 'server dude.' This will be met with hostility, or as is my personality, a relentless assault of backhanded compliments whenever I'm requested. I tell you my name at the beginning of the meal. Remember it, or offer up a polite 'sir' or 'miss/ma'am.' If we've been polite to you, then we've earned at least that much.

2. Keep in mind the amount of times you ask for things separately. My job is to serve you as efficiently as possible, and I'm pretty good at it. Do you need horseradish? You damn right I can get that for you. But alas, upon returning, someon asks for mustard. Well that's no problem at all. I'll be right back! And when I get back, well it looks like someone wants more napkins. Plain and simple: while we're here to help you, keep in mind we're helping at least 5 other parties at a time, and many times 7 or 8 groups. In the spirit of these holidays, please try to consolidate your requests. If you don't, I'm going to ask you if "there is anything else I can get for annnyyyyyooonnne while I'm here" in my best adult-to-two-year-old impression. And I'm real good at that.

3. Don't gourge yourself on complimentary bread and butter. It's bad form. It's also a health risk, and for the most part, I care about you.

4. Please DO NOT get into arguments with your significant other at the table...in front of me. It is uncomfortable at best, and at worse, I'm probably going to repeat the confrontation to all of my coworkers so we can laugh about what happend the last time you ordered that second cocktail, or how gassy you get after eating the cheese cake. If you've ever argued in a restaurant, do yourself a favor and look around. If you see staff members poking their heads out around corners, staring at you and talking to eachother, it's a good chance that you'll be the subject of conversation for many nights to come.

5. In the state of California there is, for many restaurants, legal tip sharing. On any given restaurant shift, a server could be giving away 10 - 38% of their gratuities to bussers, expoditers kitchen staff, hostesses, and bartenders. This leaves, many times, only about 60% of the original gratuities for the server. While I'm fortunate enough to be in a situation where my livelihood is not dependant on tip money, most servers are paid minimum wage and need that money for rent and insurance. If the service was good, go with the giving spirit, and give what you can. If the steak was undercooked, let your server know BEFORE you polish that bad-boy off so that I can fix it, and so that you won't feel inclined to hold it against me.

part II in a few days...maybe.

It doesn't count if nothing happens

Negotiating one of the many technical corners at the Turkey Trot CX

That's what I've been telling myself, repeatedly, after finishing up the interview process with Teach for America. I know that I was told to keep all my interviewing experiences confidential, but, as the title says, it doesn't count if nothing happens (grammar?), and seeing as how I have to wait 1 month until I hear my fate, I suppose I can write on the process lightly.

The day started very quickly at 9 a.m. sharp. We met in a small conference room, very similar to an upper-division seminar room, in one of the many incredibly posh buildings on the campus of USD. When people say USD is a campus for rich people, they are not lying. USD is a campus among Gods, food prepared by chefs, students playing piano in the lobby to serenade guests; it was all a complete shock. SDSU has absolutely nothing on this school, except for the beat downs we dish out in basketball.

There were 11 total candidates in the room with 2 interviewers. Right off the bat I noticed that the candidates were nervous about the upcoming teaching lessons. An early attempt to break the ice was met with cold stares, as I suppose many of these kids were extremely nervous and under the impression that we were all competing against each other.

The 5 minute teaching lessons were next, it was easy to see those who had no idea what teaching is about. Most of the lessons were fine, and mine was going quite well but, as is the case with most of my teaching in general, I talk to much. 10 more seconds and I would've been fine.

The rest of the morning sessions involved group work, in which all of the candidates in my group were trying to recite as many of the 'catch phrases' from the Teach for America website as possible: "I think that the educational gap is the biggest problem in this country" "We need to focus on how we can get our students to be more successful" blah blah blah. Uninspired nonsense like this was really beginning to turn me off because it lacked a soul, it lacked passion, and it lacked the long-term commitment: many of these students would be leaving after two years. The whole interview day is quite easy, and after a long lunch break, my 1 on 1 interview took place, with the interviewer taking notes on the computer most of the time, not really responding to my comments.

Again, the interview for TFA is not challenging, and what's more disconcerting, is that this interview process does not truly identify teachers. I'm not quite sure how you can test a teacher on basic quantitative data analysis and conclude that 'hey, this person reads charts quite well, we should hire him/her.' It just doesn't work like that.

What was most troubling for me was finding out about my interviewers, who were in fact former TFA members. After two years of teaching, they left the classroom for recruitment jobs at TFA. If I had one question for TFA, it would be : How can you expect to make great changes in education by allowing teachers to leave the classroom after two years? While I appreciate these teachers' experiences in the classroom, it's quite laughable to hear about how easily they were able to leave the classroom, especially when considering the fact that the first 5 years of teaching is considered to be one big learning curve.

I guess what stands out as the biggest difference between myself and the rest of the recruits and members of TFA, is that I really want to be in the classroom for many years. All I want to do is teach, and when I say teach, I mean fully invest myself in the school and community for the long-haul.