What makes the difference?

Everyone talks about making a difference. Sometimes, people compare apples to apples and ask, "what makes the difference? what is the difference?"

In the teaching program, I often run into this same question. On many days, I have to ask myself, "what is the difference between these two methods? What makes the difference between a good teacher and a great teacher?" or:

"How is what I'm doing any better or worse than what other teachers are doing? What is the difference?"

Credibility.

Teaching Source: Quite simply, the levels of scrutiny that a teacher may receive is in direct contrast to who the teacher is and that teacher's standing at any particular school. That is to say, a teacher of many years receives none, while a new teacher is under a watchful eye.

Credibility stems directly from the source. A teacher of many years maintains higher levels of credibility by simply being there and teaching safe, mistake free lessons.

Therefore, when I ask what makes the difference between a good and great teacher, the traditional answer will likely bring up these aspects of the profession. Because of the hierarchy in teaching (the pecking order, whatever you want to call it), the difference is not necessarily in the product of teaching, but rather the stance of the teacher.

Where am I going with this? I'm not too sure. I feel like, after viewing different classes and seeing different lessons taught, experience isn't necessarily a great indicator of the product or the engagement. Experience might serve a purpose in lesson planning or coordinating meetings, but maybe not in creating student engagement.

One thing that I am quite sure of, however, is that student teachers have absolutely no credibility in the classroom. As such, our opinions and experiences are often taken lightly or completely discounted (specifically when being paired with those of experience and power). If I could give advice to future credential students, it would be to tread lightly... so much so that you're not even sure if you're moving forward. I was told that, in this program, I could experiment, take risks, and try out new things.

Not so.

This is tough for many of us, but especially myself. When I go swimming, I don't like to enter the pool via the ladder. I know I can swim, I don't feel the need to take my time, I'll get in the pool and learn the strokes, improve my abilities and improve my style. Why should I have to take so much precaution when entering the pool?

I like to cannonball off the diving board. And so, I believe it is the cannonball, that certain aim to take risks, that might very well be the difference.

Red Trolley video....SIDEWAYS (courtesy of mary)

the PACT

It's time to video tape. Booya. Student Teaching has been nothing like I expected. I guess every day can't be an inspirational group discussion/lecture/activity, but at the same time, I'm starting to wonder if this is my profession. I just recently taught a lesson a "great" lesson.v I was given tremendous accolades by my guide teacher. I was told that, when looking for new teachers, administrators look for educators that can teach a certain style, and that my most recent lesson was a great example of this structure and style.

It was a wonderful compliment, to be sure, but also very deflating. Teaching out of a textbook, using a very structured and scripted lesson plan, is not who I am as a teacher and as a student. It is not where I want to be as an educator 5, 10, 15 years from now. I have no desire to teach facts. I don't believe it is very important for the students to know the minimum age requirements to be a member of the House or the Senate. The "facts" are not as important as the "process" of learning. Students need to learn how to think, how to build ideas and arguments, and how to develop these ideas into something more.

The lesson I taught was a great lesson from a traditional standpoint. However, I could see the lack of interest in the students' eyes, the lack of connection to the material, and the complete absence of THEIR voice in the subject matter and the lesson. Of all the classroom observation I've done at both the middle and high schools, I've noticed that students rarely have a voice in the classroom. What kind of teacher would I be if I were to be satisfied with teaching an excellent lesson from a structured point of view?

The kids love spontaneous teachers (whether they will admit it or not), and that is the kind of person I am. I love coming into school with 20 ounces of coffee pumping through my veins and having fun. For me, everything about the forced structure in public schools seems to kill the spirit of learning.

Time to get down from my soap box. It's a beautiful Saturday. I'm gonna ride.

Up and Down, Around and Around

The credential program has been two parts disheartening and two parts helpful. Each day is a new day bringing a new mood swing, new experiences and a new set of challenges to overcome. It's been especially difficult to stay on top of my personal life when everything in my "professional" life is in constant motion and is constantly working against my own actions. It has been more than a challenge to stay motivated and creative in an atmosphere that is not conducive to creativity and individuality.

Students and teachers don't really seem too much bothered by my presence in the classroom, yet I'm having a hard time finding my place, my stride, and my rhythm on a day to day basis. In the middle school, I had a schedule, a plan, a structure. It has been tough to find the same things at the HS. The students, however, are amazing, and every day I've been very grateful to have the opportunity to interact with them, to learn from them, and to teach them a thing or two (I'm able to do that, you know).

Leading the chase at the Island View Classic, 2010

The bike racing, as usual, has been keeping me somewhat sane. Let's take a look:

No results to speak of

No primes to show for the effort

Been riding more than ever

Okay, so maybe things haven't been going to plan. I had been bragging about a cat. 3 upgrade through the entire winter break/off-season (if you can call it that, with the teaching and school), but things are not coming together at this point in time. It has been nice to see my friends and riding buddies having success, and it has been nice to find a new level of fitness and experience more racing, but I'd really like to have some results of my own. I suppose I'll just have to keep training.

So the Santa Barbara race weekend came and went, as they all do. Some guy from UCLA keeps ruining all my races. Not in the traditional sense; he and I are by no means battling. He is much stronger than myself. No, he continues to ruin my races by generally saying things that are either rude, foolish, or both. I'm not one for smack talk in bike races, especially between racers of different abilities. We're talking about a guy who lapped the entire field to take the win at a notoriously tough early season criterium, and me, half student teacher-half average bike racer. It's a matter of interaction.

Everyone I've met in the collegiate racing scene is upbeat, chill, and generally fun to talk to. Before the race, afterwards, even during, most guys know what is going on, especially considering that we're in the B category. But this guy, God Bless him, says things like, "come on SDSU, help chase. quit blocking SDSU. what's the deal? are you guys going to chase?" Sorry buddy, but if you haven't been paying attention, we have a guy who's been in the break for the past 25 minutes. If you have no cool information, fun facts, or good jokes, don't talk to me.

So we move on. The racing was fast and crash free. The crit was fast and fun as myself, Logan and Dan worked extremely hard for Eric in the break. Unfortunately for E-love, the wind picked up like a mother, and a break of two could not stay away. We sprinted for 11th, 4th and 12th respectively. Elove got a standing ovation for his work off the front, as I've been told. The road race on Sunday was a blur. A short, 11 mile lap with one punchy 4-5 minute climb was to be repeated 4 times. Logan got away. I held on. After the break was decided (Logan had to deal with UCLA guy, thankfully) the group had some good laughs, and kept the tempo steady, ensuring that Logan would be credited with at least a 4th. E-love sat in the pack like a champ. Even through the attacks on the final lap, he was money.

"you gonna attack on the climb?"

"no, I think i'm gonna try for the field sprint." epic.

So Logan got his 3rd and, of course, Eric took a sweet victory in the field sprint to give him 4th. I was somewhere in there, happy to have finished in the bunch and to have been competitive. Awesome times.

Just when you think you got it covered...

So my blogging skills suck. This page is sure to fail within the next few months. Not that anyone actually reads it to begin with, but soon enough it will slip into the obscurity that only, oh, 1 million similar pages have managed to do.

Boulevard and Red Trolley have come and gone. Admittedly, I had spent a lot of time thinking about these races in the moments that I was not focused on lessons and teaching. The teaching has certainly picked up. The amount of focus and intensity needed to stay sharp in the classroom has increased since the semester's start. I am in full-blown "Mr. S" mode.

I was able to get the Friday night shift at the Boathouse covered by a helpful employee; an employee in need of the kind of cash that only a stressed out, frantic night serving tables could offer. There is something to be said about the restaurant business: addiction. It's very easy to see how one could settle into this business and, given a certain amount of thick skin, serve tables for a long time. If we're talking about how to make money in a short period of time, it's clearly the best way to go.

Rolling out to the Live Oak Springs Inn/2nd choice for the filming location of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was a trip. Logan, Dan and myself were simply getting poured on. The Inn itself had eager racers inside, hiding from the rain and warming by a pretty cool fireplace set up alongside the diner portion of the lodge and lobby. Warm and comfortable, it was easy for me to sit down, dress, pin my number, and chat with other racers while we avoided what was waiting for us outside: pouring rain and possible snow. Overnight, the forecasters had predicted a snow level of 3500 feet, and we were currently around 4000 feet.

The snow never came. The race rolled out slowly, and after an early scare (a certain rider whom I shall not name managed to ride into a cone knocking it over in front of me), we were off into a wall of fog and rain.

Pops came along, following us in his Jeep Rubicon. It was pretty entertaining, to say the least, watching him fly by us, a blue wool beanie barely clinging to his head (he always drives with the window down). With the first 12 miles of this course being mostly downhill, there wasn't a whole lot to do. The aforementioned cone hitter and another rider went up the road. We didn't give too much thought to the move. I myself, unsure of my strength in the second 12 miles of climbing, was not about to chase down any break at all, and it was safe to say that the group of 13 as a whole were pretty confident in being able to catch 2 lone riders before our 44 miles were up.

I was able to climb well, but the final kick to the finish at the end of lap one was just a bit too much. I lost touch with the draft as we made the turn from Old Highway 80 to Live Oak Springs Road, and that was about it. I spent the first 3 miles of lap 2 chasing the group, well within sight, but unable to close the final 100 meters in the headwind. Logan dropped his chain before Tierra del Sol, the group attacked (not cool) while he dismounted, which was all it took for me to burn my final match. Logan caught on and managed a 3rd place finish. I was credited with a 10th, but with only 14 riders, it's not really saying much. Oh yea, the break was caught.

Red Trolley! Sunday Morning! A fresh start. I woke up in the morning actually hoping for rain. I figured the field would be larger, as Boulevard is a difficult and intimidating race, and I wanted it to pour buckets on all those people who thought they could avoid it on Saturday. The course was wet, but we never really encountered any sustained drizzle or rain after 7:45 a.m.

The hill on the "Top Gun" course is the only aspect

of the race I was worried about. My first races were on this course. I got shelled. Twice. In one day. It's safe to say that Red Trolley 2008 was a very embarrassing and harsh introduction to cycling. Needless to say, I had a few demons to take down.

The B's race was a huge cluster of confusion and fun. At some point in the race, early on, our wonder boy Baby Eric (I shall refer to him from here on out as ELove) made the break. At some point in the race, a little bit less earlier on, we had his older brother giving us splits as we sat on, happy that UCLA and UCSB were also represented in the break. At some point in the race, I sprinted for a prime lap, scored a few high fives with my friends in attendance and joked around

with Clod. And then UCLA lapped the field, jumped on front, and pulled us away from his two partners in the breakaway, Les from UCSB and our beloved ELove. So the race ended, I was scored with some prime points and a 10th place finish.

Later in the day I threw on the jersey of our 'older brother' club, Acqual al 2/SDBC and raced around in the 4's. The race was much faster (the course being completely dry at this point). I sat in, moved around, goofed off, and attempted to move up for the sprint, but couldn't move up close enough. Our race was cut short at 38 minutes, but all in all, it was a good day. I squeezed 75 minutes of racing b

efore 12 noon, watched Thurlow the Turbo crush the men's 45+, and managed to catch the Saints make history.

New Semester, New Season

It's about time we received some sort of winter weather. My first few days observing at Mt. Miguel high school were literally rain soaked, hail filled and foggy. Interesting, considering the East County had temps in the mid-80's on certain days during December and early January. Finally, real weather in San Diego.

It is now February, and interesting time of year on the road and in the classroom. I'm placed in 11th and 12th grade AVID and U.S. Government classes, respectively, and couldn't be more excited to start the year. But alas, the year has started, and I have not been able to teach yet. And like those awkward moments at the start line, waiting for the gun to crack/whistle to blow, the more time you wait, the more the nerves grow.

I've always enjoyed being thrown into a challenge completely unprepared, more or less. One of the things about mental toughness, you really have to familiarize yourself with feelings of being uncomfortable. Individual progress, on the road or in the classroom, only occurrs when you push yourself through moments of discomfort, confusion, stress and even pain. Being stuck in the chair in the back of the room, with 35 students starring at you, wondering who you are...well, it's not ideal.

Howard Zinn has passed on. There really isn't much more to be said other than the simple fact that humanity has lost a person who truly cared about people, and who wanted to make the world a better place. I'm very excited for his last major work, a DVD based off of 'A People's History' to be released.

Training and studying have been going well. I haven't stopped reading, not once. More recently, I've been able to finish up Ed Blum's book 'Reforging the White Republic.' I miss him as a professor; quality human with funny jokes and amazing research.

As far as the open road, the long training miles with some close friends have brought me to a fitness level that I couldn't imagine...unfortunately, that fitness level is not good enough. Must. Ride. More. The first real collegiate racing of the year kicks off this Saturday and Sunday with the UCSD Boulevard Road Race on Saturday followed by our Red Trolley Criterium on Super Bowl Sunday. It'll be nice to see how I've progressed.













Pacelining out in Borrego, repin' the Aztecs.

Last Day

Last day with the kiddies today. Middle school has been a blast. It really takes me back to when times were, for the most part, carefree. Seeing all the students walking around, running late to class, talking in class, getting smart with the teacher: that was me in middle school! And High School, for that matter. I'm always amazed at how my life has come full circle. It's a weird to think about where I may or may not be in the next 5 and 10 years. Hopefully teaching. Hopefully riding.

Either way, I'm going to miss my class. I am very fortunate to have had a class that was so smart, funny, at times testing, but in general a cool bunch. I hope they enjoyed my teaching style, even though they only got to see small glimpses of it throughout the semester.

Now it's time for high school. I'll be teaching an 11th (?) grade AVID class and a 12th grade U.S. Government class. Fun stuff, hopefully, and more learning to come.

Cross Racing, Student Teaching, and the Process

I had the incredible opportunity to race back-to-back weekends of cyclocross just recently. The perfect way to cap-off the month of November and start off the always glorious December. With my birthday being on the 14th, I could smell a top 10 spot in the cat. 4 race, in which my results had been improving (as had my fitness).

Similarly, student-teaching had been slowly winding down throughout November. There is something to be said for the modified year 'round calendar. The kids had a 2 week break in october and a week in november. Not bad.

The goal for the race was to start strong, recover, and finish strong. I knew I couldn't hang with the leaders' pace for the entire race, but I figured I could manage coming through top 10 at the end of lap 1, and hopefully, hang on for a similar finish. I came through the first lap somewhere in the top 10, which was a huge moral victory for me.

At that point, I started my painful slide backwards.

It's not that I'm a bad bike racer, it's that I'm slow, lacking fitness, and lacking awesome, grass eating wattage.

With 2 laps to go, coming into the head wind, I was able to jump on to a 3 man group and recover at a still-slow-but-faster-than-before speed. Sitting on was nice, I recovered, and managed to out sprint all 3 for a 13th out of 60 finish. A great finish.

It was at that point, immediately after the race, sitting in the infield, that my brain went right back to the classroom; to planning, the process, classroom management, all of those things. As much as I want to ride, I want to teach even more.

When I took up cycling, I was unfamiliar on how to train properly, and I lacked the fitness. My fitness held me back from my development and enjoyment of cycling. Similarly, student-teaching holds the individual from the true growth, development and enjoyment of teaching. The process is designed to inundate student-teachers with work, with lessons, and with material. One class might advoacate for the use of a standardized, Madeline Hunter-style lesson plan, while another might debunk lesson plans altogether. And ofcourse you have Guide Teachers (and I'm currently learning from one of the best), that are quick to point out the many flaws in the program.

If I've learned anything from cycling and teaching, it's that they are eerily similar. It is through personal commitment, risk-taking, long hours, and thoughtful approach that great strides can be made. Just as the cyclist spends six hours on a training ride breaking down muscles on long climbs, the teacher must spend hours experimenting and taking risks in the classroom; breaking down the comfort zones and unfamiliarity. And just as the cyslist must recover and reflect on training, the teacher must reflect on the classroom experience in order to create more thoughtful lessons.

I look forward to training and studying as the new year approaches.

Negotiating the uphill barriers.