Implementation of Checklists for Off Task Students

So this may very well be my thesis (assuming prior research hasn't been conducted already), or at the very least, a great teaching tool that I will use. In any event, it got my out of a jam when cornered with four students with learning challenges in the most recent sub'n venture.

These kids were having difficulty wrapping their minds around a, some would say, simple "brochure" project, in which the students create a travel brochure that advertises a city, settlement, time period, or event.

A bit flustered, I decided to create a checklist for each student, laying the exact steps that must be accomplished in order to successfully complete the assignment. Keeping it short (3-4 items per list), I was able to designate each group member with a role by simply creating a checklist that would accomplish said role (i.e., the communicator should probably have a short speech prepared, the illustrator should procure paper, markers, and pictures ideas relevant to the topic, the research should...).

Of course, the students have no idea that they're being assigned roles, much less that I'm the one delegating. While it is unfortunate that more time wasn't spent actually COMPLETING this assignment, teaching in the Special Education setting requires this patience and approach that is often overlooked when making comparisons to what might be considered a "normal" (is there such a thing? nope) classroom.

Back to the checklist. Each time a student was successful, I gave that student a bright pen and had that student check off the list. Success!!! Each check was a success, and in this way, students feel as though they are making progress, no matter how large or small the gains.

It is wonderful to have the opportunity of working with experience special ed teachers in a real setting, as opposed to observing and classroom lecture. I really cherish all of it, in hindsight at the very least.

The applications to CSU Dominguez Hills are off and away! Fingers crossing...

The velodrome has started. As usual, my bike is far from being ready. Give me a few weeks and I'll be out there...haven't quite caught the track bug yet, but it might show up sometime. I think cyclocross is where it's at when the dust settles. The big draw for many people to track racing is that it's cycling perfection, especially considering that there are no cars to avoid. Well, that's what cross is, except for the hour in pain part. You can spare me the nostalgic glamorization of the fixed gear bicycle, I don't really care. If it has two wheels and you can pedal, I'll enjoy it someway or another.

Musings of a broken voiced Sub

My voice went completely hoarse on the first day of a three day run at the local middle school. Both days were mainly focused on 6th grade math and science, though I was pleasantly surprised to do some commentary on endangered species and, more importantly, why people love to shoot animals for fun.

Aside from the topics, the real kicker of this week was the voice issue. I was given the opportunity to call out of these assignments, but I love the money and I really wanted to see what it would be like to teach without being able to talk. I was limited to roughly four addresses to the class each period. After four times talking in whole group, I began to sound like a freakishly high-pitched Italian mob boss.

Wednesday was smooth, the kids found it funny (as did I), and not one student tried to take advantage of my voice issue.

Thursday played out initially in direct contrast to Wednesday. My voice was worse thanks to a rough night serving tables (yea, I still do that. sigh.) and the students caught on to the fact that I was unable to address them with a simple, "Good morning everyone."

One of the best tricks I learned from my 6th grade guide teacher was to simply, sit, wait, stare, whatever, until the kids quiet down. Granted, this ONLY works if you have either A) a credible character and rapport with the students or B) the ability to strike great fear and doubt into their young hearts. Just kidding.

But not really.

Fortunately for your humble narrator and sub, I have a great rapport with the kids. I'm known as "Mr. S!!!!" or "The COOL sub" or "Mr. Smith has the coolest sunglasses!" And yes, they're Penguins, and no, they can't be purchased anywhere.

It was at this moment that a girl walked up to the desk, leaned over, and pumped a giant dollop of hand sanitizer onto her outstretched tongue.

Now, I know you can reread that, but I'm going to copy+paste that last sentence right back in this text box. You know, for the effect.

It was at this moment that a girl walked up to the desk, leaned over, and pumped a giant dollop of hand sanitizer onto her outstretched tongue.

If I could've yelled, or screamed, or done something involving a vocal outburst, I would have exercised that ability in spades. I could only gasp, with the wide eyes of someone who just witnessed the supernatural.

"Why?" I asked her in a squeaky, crackling high pitched chirp.

"To clean my tongue. It feels....aaaaaaa it burns."

"No kidding? Well at least it's clean." And it was off to the nurse with her.

Aside from this class, and the mix-up with alcohol sanitizer, the majority of the kids were fantastic. I'm really a very lucky guy to have the opportunity to sub for kids that are so well-behaved. It makes the job easy, and it makes the paychecks even more sweet. It's only a few notches short of glorified babysitting, but I'll take the experience, and the money, any way that I can get it.

music should challenge you, bike riding shouldn't hurt all the time, teachers should tackle pop culture

If any of these things confuse you or strike a chord then I'm sure, at the very least, I would be a great song title writer. Minus the Bear should hire me even though I can't grow a 'great northwest' beard to save my life. You know the beard, it's the one that looks like the only moisture it receives is a thoughtful combination of Portland rain and overpriced craft beer.

The whole bike racing thing bothers me every now and then because it seems to me that if the actual organized, official, licensed racing was taken out of the picture, most of these grown men wouldn't even ride. This isn't to say competition is a bad thing, but it shouldn't be the mess that it is. If I feel like training, I'll ride myself into the ground. If I feel like riding my bike to the Lyons Valley General store for a High Life, I'll do that too. As much as I enjoy competition and racing, any amateur glory that may or may not await me in my future is not nearly as tempting as a good meal and a few drinks with friends.

Over the past few weeks, I've spent some more time substituting in the classroom of Alpine, and I've noticed one interest that seemingly connects and levels the student population as a whole: Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Jersey Shore.

Here is where I need to be careful with what I say, because the aim here is not to offend musical or entertainment preferences. The aim is, however, to illustrate how entertainment and music without a point, or goal, is not only pointLESS to our society, but perhaps destructive and stifling.

These kids, specifically the girls, LOVE this stuff. They eat it up with an oversized spoon and come to school singing the lyrics and recapping the stories of the previous night's adventures on the town. They don't even know why. All they know is that the it's in their faces, and that if it is constantly in their faces, then there must be some sort of redeeming value to the content.

The problem with all of this is that there is no passion, no soul, no creativity, and certainly no inspiration behind any of this junk. Ask yourself: What is the point of jersey shore? What is the point of much of the mainstream pop music? Where is the love? Where is the passion? Katy Perry wrote a song about kissing girls. Fine, save for the fact that a song by the same name came out already in 1995. Forget about the fact that Katy's song has nothing to do with the liberation of gays whatsoever, and you have a song that was written by a team of suits, aimed at adolescents, with the sole purpose of making money through the sale of sex. There you have it, a somewhat bitter story of modern day pop culture. Most importantly, none of this music challenges young middle school students who are literally 4 years away from being fully active, voting citizens of this country.

And this relates directly to teaching because it is the role of the teacher, not to block our students from accessing these forms of social media, but to expose students to more things that they would have access to in their everyday lives. Teaching is tough, even as a sub, because a teacher is confronted with all of the modern day issues that young people face, and they are confronted with these problems 5 full school days a week. There is no other profession that is faced with these challenges, as it is the only profession where loving, and sometimes unloving, parents send their kids to be with other adults. Alone in a room. With the (usually) one door locked.

Teachers are alone in a room with students, and these students want, as do their parents and guardians, to be taught, nurtured, and developed into thoughtful citizens. As lofty a goal as any, but a good question to be asked here might be: How does modern middle school curriculum tackle the challenge of popular culture misleading our students?

Our students (some, most, you decide) look up to the cast of jersey shore. Shouldn't they be told that they, in fact, look down on them?

I don't know.

What have I learned about sub'n for 2nd graders?

Every day I sub I try to at least write down a few musings regarding my experiences in the classroom. As a 'temp,' you really get the opportunity to experience student life from a number of different standpoints: some classes treat you like a superior, while other classes might treat you as a peer. Some classes might treat you like a play buddy, while others might look at you as an enemy from the first moment they see you. Here are some of my remarks, usually written on post-it notes, about sitting in on 2nd, 6th, 7th, 8th and 12th grade classrooms.

1.) Second graders. They're so damn cute. Seriously. Giving these kids a high five for completing a worksheet might as well be giving them $1 million dollars. I feel like I want to hold them up to the world, like Simba, and scream, "Nobody ever hurt this child! Be pure my little one!" But then, somehow, they manage to fill you in on the latest MTV reality show. Sigh.

2.) For some reason, giving elementary students permission to use markers is like giving a science geek permission to enter Area 51. It's just too cool.

- Kid: "Can we use markers???!!!"

- Me: "uhh....yea, sure. Why not?"

- Class "(mixed reactions of gasping, shock, awe, etc.) We can use markers!!!"

3.) Clorox wipes are the key to cleanliness. To middle and elementary school students, Clorox wipes are akin to Catnip. Distribute with caution.

4.) To 2nd graders, that pull-down map that rolls in and out of itself over the chalkboard is the most amazing magic trick....ever.

5.) Most female high school students are ready to get into some kind of altercation with the sub. I'm still not sure why, but it seems like every class I go into I'm met with some kind of hostility right after the bell.

-Me: "Happy Tuesday everyone, let's go ahead and find our seats."

-Angry high school girl: "Uhhhhh. (eyes roll as she whipser to her friend) Is this guy serious?"

6.) Most students have absolutely no sense of age. 24 years old is ancient. As for their real teachers? Well, to most of these kids, they seem to be under the impression that their teachers will be passing away at the old age of 35-55 at any moment.

Mr. Substitute.

Teach for America didn't fly.

And here's the worst part: They give no reasons to any of the applicants as to 'why?' Though it's true that, as time passed after the interview, I contemplated pulling my application so that I could re-enter the university system, I still hate not being picked for things. This was a frustrating time.

What can I assume about my interview? I created a laundry list of reasons for why I might not have been picked....

1) I said I could quit.

Well, not exactly like that. In my one-on-one interview, I was asked if there would be any reasons for quitting the job. I said that, of course there would be numerous reasons, both foreseeable and unforeseeable, that would cause any human being to quit a low paying teaching job. I sighted physical violence and weapon use and/or intimidation as a perfect example: why would a teacher go to work in fear of her or his life?

2) Social Studies was not needed in this most recent rotation of job hiring.

Sad but true. As much as we live in an educational contradiction, both in this state and country, we live in a contradiction with the Social Sciences, or History. Americans want their schools and students to be the best, but we don't want to pay for it (that's why education is ALWAYS the first to be cut in budgets). As much as we want students to know US History, we don't want students to know everything. Just look at the numerous flaws, oversights and omissions that can be found, or not found in American textbooks (All men were created equal, right?).

The good ol USA doesn't compete with other countries in the category of US History knowledge. The same fact applies for Geography and other Social Studies subjects. We do, however, compete with countries all over the world in math and science. Math and Science are the two most easily relatable subjects worldwide, as, for the most part, the same rules apply. 2 + 2 = 4 in any language. Similarly, the composition of DNA is mostly agreed upon world wide by scientists from most all nations.

The history of say, the formation and expansion of the United States, is most definitely NOT agreed upon in any one country. Go ahead and ask around, I think there's some type of war going on or something.

3) I was over-qualified.

I know that's a huge boost to my ego, but let's face it, I was. I interviewed against zero candidates with any teaching experience whatsoever. As far as pay scale goes, most of the poor schools that teachers are sent to in TFA accept TFA Corp Members because they are, for lack of a better term, cheap labor. No teaching credential = a working contract that can be negotiated to lower wages for the teacher. Furthermore, TFA Corp Member teachers cannot join unions, which means that an uncredentialed teacher lacking union membership demands a very, very low salary which is coincidentally perfect for an inner city school in need of teachers.

Oh well. Whatever the reason, it doesn't matter. And yes, my laundry list is usually only three deep.

For the past few months I have been substituting at my old stomping grounds, Joan MacQueen Middle School in Alpine, California. It has been a blast working with young 12, 13 and 14 year old students, and even more so when you include the fact that I have been substituting for many of my old teachers. The cherry on top is that they are very excited to see a former student return as a teacher. Now if I could only talk some of them into retiring...

Aaaaand at some point I finished 4th in a bike race. A road race, that is. 58 miles worth of road racing. With over 4,000 feet of climbing. Wait, what?

This fool won...then crashed himself out. You can see him saying, "oh s#%*!!!"

He was DQ'd and bumped me from 5th to 4th.

How a server views the holiday season

Whether or not someone enjoys the holiday season really boils down to a simple matter of perspective. I can't imagine turkeys and pigs enjoy this time of year, but I'm sure that slaughter houses across the nation are making profits. Some families are enjoying the few moments away from work and school to spend quality time together, while others spend every minute loathing the sight of their in-laws. While you might go out for a holiday meal, it's quite possible that your server, cook, bartender or busser, might be seriously dreading that same experience.

I've been in the restaurant industry for nearly four years now, and each year I get to see the droves of large family units seemingly herding themselves in and out of the restaurant on any given Thanksgiving or Christmas. You can always tell the truly 'elated' bunches: Mom's side of the family on one side, Dad's side on the other, neither too happy to be in the same presence for a meal. It's near miraculous when a family of 12 can complete an entire meal short of 60 minutes.

There is, of course, the obligatory 'fight over the bill' between in-laws which can very easily lead to troubling moments for your humble narrator and server. For the sake of servers everywhere, I've decided to leave you with a few tips to keep in mind when dining out this holiday season.

1. Please do not, under any circumstances, ever refer to your server as 'waiter' 'waitress' 'buddy' 'pal' or (my favorite of all time) 'server dude.' This will be met with hostility, or as is my personality, a relentless assault of backhanded compliments whenever I'm requested. I tell you my name at the beginning of the meal. Remember it, or offer up a polite 'sir' or 'miss/ma'am.' If we've been polite to you, then we've earned at least that much.

2. Keep in mind the amount of times you ask for things separately. My job is to serve you as efficiently as possible, and I'm pretty good at it. Do you need horseradish? You damn right I can get that for you. But alas, upon returning, someon asks for mustard. Well that's no problem at all. I'll be right back! And when I get back, well it looks like someone wants more napkins. Plain and simple: while we're here to help you, keep in mind we're helping at least 5 other parties at a time, and many times 7 or 8 groups. In the spirit of these holidays, please try to consolidate your requests. If you don't, I'm going to ask you if "there is anything else I can get for annnyyyyyooonnne while I'm here" in my best adult-to-two-year-old impression. And I'm real good at that.

3. Don't gourge yourself on complimentary bread and butter. It's bad form. It's also a health risk, and for the most part, I care about you.

4. Please DO NOT get into arguments with your significant other at the table...in front of me. It is uncomfortable at best, and at worse, I'm probably going to repeat the confrontation to all of my coworkers so we can laugh about what happend the last time you ordered that second cocktail, or how gassy you get after eating the cheese cake. If you've ever argued in a restaurant, do yourself a favor and look around. If you see staff members poking their heads out around corners, staring at you and talking to eachother, it's a good chance that you'll be the subject of conversation for many nights to come.

5. In the state of California there is, for many restaurants, legal tip sharing. On any given restaurant shift, a server could be giving away 10 - 38% of their gratuities to bussers, expoditers kitchen staff, hostesses, and bartenders. This leaves, many times, only about 60% of the original gratuities for the server. While I'm fortunate enough to be in a situation where my livelihood is not dependant on tip money, most servers are paid minimum wage and need that money for rent and insurance. If the service was good, go with the giving spirit, and give what you can. If the steak was undercooked, let your server know BEFORE you polish that bad-boy off so that I can fix it, and so that you won't feel inclined to hold it against me.

part II in a few days...maybe.

It doesn't count if nothing happens

Negotiating one of the many technical corners at the Turkey Trot CX

That's what I've been telling myself, repeatedly, after finishing up the interview process with Teach for America. I know that I was told to keep all my interviewing experiences confidential, but, as the title says, it doesn't count if nothing happens (grammar?), and seeing as how I have to wait 1 month until I hear my fate, I suppose I can write on the process lightly.

The day started very quickly at 9 a.m. sharp. We met in a small conference room, very similar to an upper-division seminar room, in one of the many incredibly posh buildings on the campus of USD. When people say USD is a campus for rich people, they are not lying. USD is a campus among Gods, food prepared by chefs, students playing piano in the lobby to serenade guests; it was all a complete shock. SDSU has absolutely nothing on this school, except for the beat downs we dish out in basketball.

There were 11 total candidates in the room with 2 interviewers. Right off the bat I noticed that the candidates were nervous about the upcoming teaching lessons. An early attempt to break the ice was met with cold stares, as I suppose many of these kids were extremely nervous and under the impression that we were all competing against each other.

The 5 minute teaching lessons were next, it was easy to see those who had no idea what teaching is about. Most of the lessons were fine, and mine was going quite well but, as is the case with most of my teaching in general, I talk to much. 10 more seconds and I would've been fine.

The rest of the morning sessions involved group work, in which all of the candidates in my group were trying to recite as many of the 'catch phrases' from the Teach for America website as possible: "I think that the educational gap is the biggest problem in this country" "We need to focus on how we can get our students to be more successful" blah blah blah. Uninspired nonsense like this was really beginning to turn me off because it lacked a soul, it lacked passion, and it lacked the long-term commitment: many of these students would be leaving after two years. The whole interview day is quite easy, and after a long lunch break, my 1 on 1 interview took place, with the interviewer taking notes on the computer most of the time, not really responding to my comments.

Again, the interview for TFA is not challenging, and what's more disconcerting, is that this interview process does not truly identify teachers. I'm not quite sure how you can test a teacher on basic quantitative data analysis and conclude that 'hey, this person reads charts quite well, we should hire him/her.' It just doesn't work like that.

What was most troubling for me was finding out about my interviewers, who were in fact former TFA members. After two years of teaching, they left the classroom for recruitment jobs at TFA. If I had one question for TFA, it would be : How can you expect to make great changes in education by allowing teachers to leave the classroom after two years? While I appreciate these teachers' experiences in the classroom, it's quite laughable to hear about how easily they were able to leave the classroom, especially when considering the fact that the first 5 years of teaching is considered to be one big learning curve.

I guess what stands out as the biggest difference between myself and the rest of the recruits and members of TFA, is that I really want to be in the classroom for many years. All I want to do is teach, and when I say teach, I mean fully invest myself in the school and community for the long-haul.